Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

Classical music lovers have to stick together. Don't worry, I got your Bach...

You have special abilities. Use them everyday and enjoy the moment!

Johann Sebastian Bach deserves to be immortalized as a classic rock god, complete with lightning bolt & devil horns. Bach rocks!

You're drowning in a sea of grass under a hot summer sun. I bet you can't wait for winter...

What would I do without Florida stories in the news? Love it or not, there's heat, humidity and that "anything goes" attitude, right?

Your grass is baking in the hot summer sun. You have a "Lawn Of The Dead"...

What day of the week do chickens hate most? "Fry-Day!" Thanks, you're a good crowd. Now, who's hungry?

Sure, I've done some things in my life I'm not proud of but this isn't one of them. Garden hose water tastes great!!!

Two martinis, no waiting! A fun, colorful retro design that's an ode to cocktails.

You're a first-class, top gun martini test pilot and it's time the whole world knows it. Cheers!

We need art badly and Earth without art truly is just 'eh'...

The brain seems to think it's the boss. Who decided that?

Is it a fork? Is it a spoon? No, it's a 'spork' and it's time we salute the greatest utensil ever created in the history of the world!

What a drag it is getting old. Here's a little ditty about adulthood...

Few things in life have the power to fix everything and it's important to identify those things...

Make sure you have the right tool for the right job.

If you have beer and duct tape, do you really need anything else? I don't think so.

We all speak the language of nacho cheese, right?

Sandwiches are great, especially when you have the munchies...

Don't become the main course at a shark buffet...

Loud noises coming from your car? Just turn up the radio...

Frogs need their space and also their parking space.

Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice, right?

'Ever drop something on the floor with a dog around. There is no 5 second rule...

No pressure but if you don't act now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. But, no pressure...

Make sure your retirement fund includes plenty of vinyl records. Good tunes are valuable.

Don't sweat your bucket list. Sometimes, it's more important to compile a different kind of list...

Baked chicken is the best. AND, it pairs nicely with Funyuns and Twinkies...

There are really, really good dogs out there who just need a chance.

Rubber duckie, you're the one. Also, why is that duckie shedding feathers when he's made of rubber? One of life's mysteries...

Is it okay to lust after bacon? 'Asking for a friend...

Bacon can and will solve ALL of your problems. Have no fear, Bacon is here!

I can spell and I think dogs have been hiding a secret for thousands of years...

I love pizza for breakfast, lunch & dinner. I love pizza in all shapes, forms & flavors. I'm a Certified Pizza Weirdough...

We love dogs. All shapes. All sizes. All colors. Dogs rule!

Save a life. Adopt a T-Rex today. The life you save may be your own. Unless you're eaten...