Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

Lobsters don't share. Lobsters are shellfish. Pass the butter...

The voices in your head are a bad podcast and you can't unsubscribe...

Whiskey inspires dancing around in your underwear to Bob Seger songs. Or so I have read...

Get your motor running and head out on the highway. Even if you're an ear of corn...

Dogs will always tell you the truth. And lick your face...

Cats are cool and they know they're cool. Meow!

In Pickleball World, a dink shot is a soft shot that falls into your opponent’s “kitchen”. That's why you should always dink responsibly...

Pickleball skills are all in the “dill-ivery”. Believe me. I'm not gherkin around...

I received a flier on anger management the other day. I lost it.. Now I just chill.

How did the hipster burn his hand? He changed a lightbulb before it was cool...

My favorite thing about salads is they never lettuce down...

Instant gratification is the immediate desire to feel satisfaction. And it takes too long!!

Aliens are really just on a big intergalactic beer run. Beer is the one thing humans do really well...

Pit bulls are awesome and if they're part of your crew, consider yourself lucky!

There's nothing cooler than a bee. Plus, they LOVE music. Bees dig bee-bop...

Baking is cool. If you can make bread, cookies, cakes and pastries? You're a badass!

All cats are great but some cats are cool. You can tell by the hat...

Canadian bacon is the nicest, most polite bacon around.

Alligators always know when it's time to leave. Usually after a quick bite...

In February 2023, an alligator was captured in Brooklyn's Prospect Park. Here's a tribute to the reptile!

So is it "Hi, how are you?" or "How high are you?" Either way, let this design do the talking.

Llamas know how to party. That's all I'm going to say...

If you're ever haunted by a ghost, I hope it's a cool one. A Ghost With The Most...

The brain seems to think it's the boss. Who decided that?

Baked chicken is the best. AND, it pairs nicely with Funyuns and Twinkies...

Rubber duckie, you're the one. Also, why is that duckie shedding feathers when he's made of rubber? One of life's mysteries...

Santa is gonna play some music on a boombox underneath your window this Christmas...

UFOs have landed and aliens are among us. I believe many of them are working at the post office...

Santa is comin' to town & all he wants are your cookies. Merry Christmas!

Have you been naughty this year? Santa has a HUGE selection of coal waiting for you. Merry Christmas!

A cucumber becomes a pickle by going through a jarring experience...

A donkey with a diploma is a smart ass.

Make your inner badass an outer bad ass...

Death is coming for all of us. So instead, I like to think about cute baby chickens!!

Ghosts can be scary but they can also be pretty calm. They float, they move thru walls. It's pretty cool when you think about it...