Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

Hollywood is skin-deep. Skin that's full of Botox and plastic surgery scars...

Money paid to someone to prevent them from disclosing embarrassing or discreditable information.

Life really is a mixtape. Just have a pencil ready, in case it unspools...

My swear jar actually swears, so it's always filled up...

Radiation can create monsters. If it happened with a lizard, it can happen with a squirrel.

Thanks to duct tape, nothing is completely broken. Duct tape fixes everything!!

All the grape jelly, raisins, and most importantly, wine, comes from the Planet Of The Grapes. Cheers!

Some say they give pizza a bad name...

Your Golden might take the midnight train goin' anywhere but they Don't Stop Retrievin'. Woof!

Labs are friendly, outgoing, high-spirited and deserve a really cool design. Woof!

Rats are already super-strong. Throw in some radiation and we're all in BIG trouble...

Johann Sebastian Bach deserves to be immortalized as a classic rock god, complete with lightning bolt & devil horns. Bach rocks!

You're drowning in a sea of grass under a hot summer sun. I bet you can't wait for winter...

What would I do without Florida stories in the news? Love it or not, there's heat, humidity and that "anything goes" attitude, right?

Your grass is baking in the hot summer sun. You have a "Lawn Of The Dead"...

Is it a fork? Is it a spoon? No, it's a 'spork' and it's time we salute the greatest utensil ever created in the history of the world!

Few things in life have the power to fix everything and it's important to identify those things...

Loud noises coming from your car? Just turn up the radio...

Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice, right?

No pressure but if you don't act now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. But, no pressure...

I dream of being a selfie photographer. I can picture myself doing it...

Death is coming for all of us. So instead, I like to think about cute baby chickens!!

Finding a restroom is often the "final frontier" when you're out and about. Good luck with your voyages and may you always "boldly go".

If Beethoven had grown up with video games, 'Symphony #9" would have been called 'Ode To Joystick'.

A great drink, a great song and a great shirt! Cheers!

You're not a genius. So what? Celebrate it with this awesome shirt!

No cable. No satellite. No internet. No streaming. The good old days.

Show your respect for 80s video games and the most fearsome ghost of all...Clyde!!

Everyone's favorite sister. Dialog by Jan, converted to an equation.

It doesn't matter if your name is Josie or not, it's time for a vacation. Far away. Maybe in the 1980's.

What an incredible Cinderella story! This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack at Augusta...

All you need are some tasty waves and a cool buzz, plus the best darn surfing company in the San Fernando Valley! This is the dark line version.

All you need are some tasty waves and a cool buzz, plus the best darn surfing company in the San Fernando Valley! This is the white line version.