Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

I think this 'Miss Universe' contest is rigged. Every one of the contestants is from Earth. Seriously though, you're not the center of the Universe. 'Sorry...

'Got a problem? Let beer solve it. Beer fixes everything!

Life is simple, thru the foamy goodness of beer. Cheers!

I have a bone to pick with anyone who thinks orthopedic health is a laughing matter...

A very wise bartender once said, "Life is brew-tiful when you have a cocktail in hand." Cheers!

Cucumber is one vegetable that is always in a pickle. It's a dill-emma...

Cats are cool and they know they're cool. Meow!

In Pickleball World, a dink shot is a soft shot that falls into your opponent’s “kitchen”. That's why you should always dink responsibly...

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer...

Pickleball skills are all in the “dill-ivery”. Believe me. I'm not gherkin around...

I received a flier on anger management the other day. I lost it.. Now I just chill.

How did the hipster burn his hand? He changed a lightbulb before it was cool...

My favorite thing about salads is they never lettuce down...

It's important to keep a can of Whoop Ass in the pantry, ready to go, just in case...

Science is the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence. No wonder it makes us thirsty...

If you think opening a can of worms is complicated, unpleasant or difficult, just wait 'til you open a can of wormholes...

I do believe the medical term for "Chill Pill" is "relaxative", right?

It's always good to know your limitations...

This design is a tribute to cured meat. If you also wish to use it as a tribute to a particular actor, I'm not going to stop you.

A flat earther walks into a bar...I know because he told everyone within 5 minutes.

My wife is tired of me wearing a different t-shirt every hour. But I know I can change...

Instant gratification is the immediate desire to feel satisfaction. And it takes too long!!

Space is the final frontier. Space is also elbow room. We all want space.

I was diagnosed with a bacon addiction but there's good news...My doctor thinks I can be cured.

Aliens are really just on a big intergalactic beer run. Beer is the one thing humans do really well...

It's time for a new kind of a superhero. A delicious crime fighter who's not afraid to ham-it-up...

Pit bulls are awesome and if they're part of your crew, consider yourself lucky!

There's nothing cooler than a bee. Plus, they LOVE music. Bees dig bee-bop...

Baking is cool. If you can make bread, cookies, cakes and pastries? You're a badass!

You love bread but you deserve butter. And last but not least, stop loafing around...

Jazz players are called "cats". Why do cats love jazz music? Because of the im-purr-visation...

All cats are great but some cats are cool. You can tell by the hat...

Dogs love snow. Snowman-dogs REALLY love snow. Woof!

Canadian bacon is the nicest, most polite bacon around.

Have you watched the news lately? Everything is FUBAR...

Sure, you might have a guardian angel but do you have a Martini Angel? A heavenly being who watches over all your cocktailing? Cheers!