Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

My favorite thing about salads is they never lettuce down...

Science is the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence. No wonder it makes us thirsty...

If you think opening a can of worms is complicated, unpleasant or difficult, just wait 'til you open a can of wormholes...

I do believe the medical term for "Chill Pill" is "relaxative", right?

It's always good to know your limitations...

This design is a tribute to cured meat. If you also wish to use it as a tribute to a particular actor, I'm not going to stop you.

A flat earther walks into a bar...I know because he told everyone within 5 minutes.

My wife is tired of me wearing a different t-shirt every hour. But I know I can change...

Instant gratification is the immediate desire to feel satisfaction. And it takes too long!!

Space is the final frontier. Space is also elbow room. We all want space.

I was diagnosed with a bacon addiction but there's good news...My doctor thinks I can be cured.

Aliens are really just on a big intergalactic beer run. Beer is the one thing humans do really well...

It's time for a new kind of a superhero. A delicious crime fighter who's not afraid to ham-it-up...

Pit bulls are awesome and if they're part of your crew, consider yourself lucky!

There's nothing cooler than a bee. Plus, they LOVE music. Bees dig bee-bop...

You love bread but you deserve butter. And last but not least, stop loafing around...

Jazz players are called "cats". Why do cats love jazz music? Because of the im-purr-visation...

All cats are great but some cats are cool. You can tell by the hat...

Dogs love snow. Snowman-dogs REALLY love snow. Woof!

Canadian bacon is the nicest, most polite bacon around.

Sure, you might have a guardian angel but do you have a Martini Angel? A heavenly being who watches over all your cocktailing? Cheers!

If you love the warmth along with every click & pop of a vinyl record, not to mention the smell...I'm with you!

Don't react, reflect. Calm down and figure out what's going on before you do something you can't undo.

They say you are what you eat, right? 'See you at the drive-thru, meat head...

Does this chicken seem tough? Don't be a chicken. Be a tough, defiant chicken.

If you don't cut the cake, it's only one piece. Follow me for more life hacks...

Beer is proof of a higher power. A higher power who loves us and wants us to be happy. Beer up!

There's nothing more punk than pie.

When humans finally land on Mars, I'm sure there will be martinis. Happy Hour happens on every planet, right?

It's time for a new kind of superhero. There's no need to fear. Captain Martini is here!

London has the coolest werewolves with their perfect hair, tailored suits and fabulous cocktails. God save the King...

Cows are very good with money. If one ever gives you a "stock" tip, take it...

If you're stressed, take that word and turn it into some delicious desserts!

Salsa is like a party in your mouth and when it's around, there is never any sadness!

It's not just carrots. All of the root vegetables are on your side. Go get 'em!

Radiation can create monsters. If it happened with a lizard, it can happen with a squirrel.