Oz 9 T-Shirts

The designer's favorite, so you know it's good.

In the ongoing tradition of our fans' designs being better than ours, here's another.

Seriously, pretty sure standing in a straight line is the limit of this team's capabilities.

This picture would never happen IRL because these two would never turn their backs on each other.

Show everyone that you're with stupid. Wear the names of the useless Oz 9 crew with pride.

Need heroing? Never fear, Leet is on the way, as soon as he finds a shirt and figures out how to open the electric doors.

Season one of the Oz 9 podcast on a shirt. The whole dang thing

Join the useless crew of the decrepit Oz 9 as they limp around in space looking for a new home to utterly bugger up.

The amazing designer @karinheim graciously VOLUNTEERED to make us a bunch of Oz 9 designs. We said yes. We're not THAT stupid.

You can't have a t-shirt without your two favorite assassins. Correction: you really shouldn't have a t-shirt without your two favorite assassins.

Leet's on his way back to the healer pod. Again. Repair bots are vicious little sods, aren't they?

He knows Cpt Madeline isn't the smartest springbok on the savannah, but he hoped for better from Jessie.... The Oz 9 is full of disappointments.

Here is the whole batch of 14 idiots all arranged neatly in a circle for G2HQ to make a dart board out of it.

Catch a rare glimpse of the Oz 9 ship as it chonks along in outer space. All sales of this special pride rainbow version will go to The Trevor Project. www.TheTrevorProject.org

If science were always this sexy, more of us would have the periodic table memorized....

His opinions are starting to flow as freely as that mane.

He may not be too bright, but he lines up nicely.

Feeling a little rumbly and lightheaded? Seeing six of things and wishing for the sweet release of unconsciousness? Well, we WARNED you....

Why does Joe always have his mop with him? Sandwiches.

The Oz 9 Albatros, she's The Terminator in a pencil skirt.

Colin, somehow never seen without his martini...sometimes barely seen at all.

When the dude who narrates your story doesn't really like you all that much...

Is there room on your chest for his? He is awfully well developed, as he'll happily tell you himself.

Wear your "I have poor leisure-time judgement" proudly and declare yourself to be the space monkey you are.

As deadly as she is gorgeous, the Albatros abides no malarky, nonsense, or off-brand condiments.

Haven't you always wanted someone to narrate your life as you journey through it? We've got that. Only he doesn't like us very much.

Same day, same nonsense, says are oft-irritated Narrator. And yet, true professional, he shows up, hand over one ear, to appraise our listeners of the dumb stuff going on aboard the Oz 9.

Show the world your status as an Official Space Monkey with this seal.

Spoiler alert: it often is.

You know the saying, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me"? Well, we'll have you! Join the proud ranks of the Oz 9 space monkeys, and you'll always have someone to eat lunch with.

Can't you just hear Olivia saying this?

Sweet and shirtless, our IT guy and password guesser extraordinaire would love to hang out with you. Literally, like he'd be hanging out WITH you.

Didn't quite finish Captain school but strives mightily to keep her idiot crew alive. Bubble-wrap enthusiast.

When cordon bleu dreams become burger-flippin' realities, you've got to stay professional. Which he ... mostly does.

'It's "penguin," not "pingwing," and even your posh British accent can't save you here.' It's possible our Narrator suffers from a little professional jealousy...

Olivia swears it's not her fault, but we're all starting to suspect that may be a lie of sorts.