Oz 9 Magnets

The designer's favorite, so you know it's good.

In the ongoing tradition of our fans' designs being better than ours, here's another.

This picture would never happen IRL because these two would never turn their backs on each other.

Show everyone that you're with stupid. Wear the names of the useless Oz 9 crew with pride.

Need heroing? Never fear, Leet is on the way, as soon as he finds a shirt and figures out how to open the electric doors.

Seriously, pretty sure standing in a straight line is the limit of this team's capabilities.

Season one of the Oz 9 podcast on a shirt. The whole dang thing

Join the useless crew of the decrepit Oz 9 as they limp around in space looking for a new home to utterly bugger up.

The amazing designer @karinheim graciously VOLUNTEERED to make us a bunch of Oz 9 designs. We said yes. We're not THAT stupid.

Join the useless crew of the decrepit Oz 9 as they limp around in space looking for a new home to utterly bugger up.

Join the useless crew of the decrepit Oz 9 as they limp around in space looking for a new home to utterly bugger up.

He knows Cpt Madeline isn't the smartest springbok on the savannah, but he hoped for better from Jessie.... The Oz 9 is full of disappointments.

Here is the whole batch of 14 idiots all arranged neatly in a circle for G2HQ to make a dart board out of it.

Catch a rare glimpse of the Oz 9 ship as it chonks along in outer space. All sales of this special pride rainbow version will go to The Trevor Project. www.TheTrevorProject.org

If science were always this sexy, more of us would have the periodic table memorized....

His opinions are starting to flow as freely as that mane.

The Oz 9 Albatros, she's The Terminator in a pencil skirt.

Colin, somehow never seen without his martini...sometimes barely seen at all.

When the dude who narrates your story doesn't really like you all that much...

Is there room on your chest for his? He is awfully well developed, as he'll happily tell you himself.

As deadly as she is gorgeous, the Albatros abides no malarky, nonsense, or off-brand condiments.

Haven't you always wanted someone to narrate your life as you journey through it? We've got that. Only he doesn't like us very much.

Didn't quite finish Captain school but strives mightily to keep her idiot crew alive. Bubble-wrap enthusiast.

Show the world your status as an Official Space Monkey with this seal.

Spoiler alert: it often is.

Can't you just hear Olivia saying this?

'It's "penguin," not "pingwing," and even your posh British accent can't save you here.' It's possible our Narrator suffers from a little professional jealousy...

When cordon bleu dreams become burger-flippin' realities, you've got to stay professional. Which he ... mostly does.

Join the useless crew of the decrepit Oz 9 as they limp around in space looking for a new home to utterly bugger up.

Olivia swears it's not her fault, but we're all starting to suspect that may be a lie of sorts.

You thought James Bond was cool. Pffffft. This woman makes the martini swiller look like a rank amateur.

He'd rather be narrating a nature special about rare equatorial polar bears or something, but he's making the best of it. When he's not sulking in his trailer....

Worn on the flight suits of the Oz 9 crew! Sport your mission patch to look like a crew member.

Join the crew on board the Oz 9 ... or just wear them on a shirt, which you're far more likely to survive.

What pet name would your narrator give you? Ours is kind of a jerk.

The perfect shirt to wear on those days when it just *is* your fault.