Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

UFOs are here because aliens need us for their protein shakes...

Everybody is fighting something very powerful. Something that's tormenting and controlling. For me, it's cheese balls...

Whiskey inspires dancing around in your underwear to Bob Seger songs. Or so I have read...

You can pick your friend's brain but you can't pick your friend's nose...

Bacon is a universal language. It's power spans the galaxies and Martians really love it. Maybe too much...

Get your motor running and head out on the highway. Even if you're an ear of corn...

Everybody has their own version of an "energy drink." May your martini always be powerful. Cheers!

The once mighty dinosaurs are now making your engine roar. That makes your vehicle's exhaust a dinosaur fart...

A bright view of the world? Sunshine on a cloudy day? The forecast calls for whiskey. Cheers!

Dogs will always tell you the truth. And lick your face...

I think this 'Miss Universe' contest is rigged. Every one of the contestants is from Earth. Seriously though, you're not the center of the Universe. 'Sorry...

'Got a problem? Let beer solve it. Beer fixes everything!

Life is simple, thru the foamy goodness of beer. Cheers!

I have a bone to pick with anyone who thinks orthopedic health is a laughing matter...

A very wise bartender once said, "Life is brew-tiful when you have a cocktail in hand." Cheers!

Cucumber is one vegetable that is always in a pickle. It's a dill-emma...

Cats are cool and they know they're cool. Meow!

In Pickleball World, a dink shot is a soft shot that falls into your opponent’s “kitchen”. That's why you should always dink responsibly...

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer...

Pickleball skills are all in the “dill-ivery”. Believe me. I'm not gherkin around...

I received a flier on anger management the other day. I lost it.. Now I just chill.

How did the hipster burn his hand? He changed a lightbulb before it was cool...

My favorite thing about salads is they never lettuce down...

It's important to keep a can of Whoop Ass in the pantry, ready to go, just in case...

Science is the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation, experimentation, and the testing of theories against the evidence. No wonder it makes us thirsty...

If you think opening a can of worms is complicated, unpleasant or difficult, just wait 'til you open a can of wormholes...

I do believe the medical term for "Chill Pill" is "relaxative", right?

It's always good to know your limitations...

This design is a tribute to cured meat. If you also wish to use it as a tribute to a particular actor, I'm not going to stop you.

A flat earther walks into a bar...I know because he told everyone within 5 minutes.

My wife is tired of me wearing a different t-shirt every hour. But I know I can change...

Instant gratification is the immediate desire to feel satisfaction. And it takes too long!!

Space is the final frontier. Space is also elbow room. We all want space.

I was diagnosed with a bacon addiction but there's good news...My doctor thinks I can be cured.

Aliens are really just on a big intergalactic beer run. Beer is the one thing humans do really well...

It's time for a new kind of a superhero. A delicious crime fighter who's not afraid to ham-it-up...