Pigeon585

I love giant squid jokes. They're always kraken me up!

A guy was admitted to hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is stable.

Two cheese trucks ran into each other. Debris was everywhere.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

I was at a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall. You couldn't make it up!

I was going to share a vegetable joke but it's corny.

I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Pixar collection, apart from one. He's never gonna give you Up.

A short psychic broke out of jail. They were a small medium at large.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

I've decided to sell my Hoover... it was just collecting dust.

I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap!

A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

Video Games ruined my life!!, Good thing I have two extra lives.

So the creator of Pac Man died today… I guess he’s the ghost now.

What do you call a friend that doesn’t let you play a video game? A control freak.

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an asteroid? “It was good, but I wish it been a little meteor.”

Oh no the Area 51 Factory has mixed up our soy sauce order, and now the Sushi is coming alive! The Sushi Restaurant needs your help to defeat the Sushi that is now attacking our customers. in what we like to call Sushi-Mania.

Along time ago there was a young Ninja named Kaito. Our young ninja warrior sets out to master the art on Ninjitsu in what we like to call Ninja-Mania.

Oh no, there’s been an explosion in the Punny Factory and all the puns have run loose! You must help Casey to gather all the puns that have broken loose during the explosion. It’s your job to help Casey collect all the missing puns to get the Punny Factory up and running again.

What is Sonic the Hedgehogs favorite season? Spring.